You gravitate most to the limiting self talk character called the Inner Critic. When healed, your new name is the Forgiver.
This is the harshest of the self talk characters. In fact, it could be seen as a bully. Of all the other characters, the Inner Critic is the one that most strives for perfection. When growing up, the Inner Critic often answered the question "how do I get love" with "by being as close to perfect as possible" or "by being responsible."
The Inner Critic often had critical outside voices like parents, teachers, or peers, that morphed into critical inside voices. Although the Inner Critic cares what other people think, a lot of him anguish comes from an inward place rather than an outward place. He says harsh things to himself that he would never dream of saying to a friend. He is also hard on himself when it comes to choices he made in the past, believing that those choices may have ruined him life. He thinks that the severity of him self talk is okay because without it he would never improve.
Examples of limiting self talk the Inner Critic narrates:
- I am not a good spouse/parent/friend.
- I am not very attractive. Lose some weight!
- I can't believe I made that choice. I ruined my life.
- I am such a loser.
- I must avoid mistakes at all costs.
- I never get things right.
Foundational Fear: Not living up to your own standards, society's standards, or the standards of the people you love.
Redeemed Gift: Our greatest weakness can become our greatest strength when healed. When you overcome your critical narrative, the gift you will bring to the world is deep, non-judgmental kindness towards yourself and others, and peace in the choices you make.
The Path Toward Hope: We can become a compassionate observer of our inner landscape and notice when these thoughts arise. We can ask the Inner Critic why he is showing up at certain times and bring healing to him.
To get over your addiction to LST (Limiting Self Talk), make your thoughts NEW.
Notice and Name when you are talking to yourself in unkind ways. Would you say out loud to a friend what you are saying to yourself? If not, why are you talking to yourself this way?
Envision what you would feel like and how your life would change if you replaced that thought. What would it feel like to be kind towards yourself instead of harsh? How would your life change if you could turn your self-loathing into self-loving?
Whirl that negative thought around 180°, generating a positive thought to replace the limiting thought.
180° thought: You are loved not because you are perfect, but because you are human.
Inner Healing Assignment:
- Be conscious every time that you think something harsh about yourself and write it down. What does God say about you that will turn that harsh thought around?
- If you struggle with regret, write a letter to the past part of you that made that choice. Delve deep into yourself and forgive that past part of you. In most cases, he did the best that he could with what he had at the time. You have the upper hand because you can see what happened as a result of that choice, but he didn't have the power to see that at the time. Give past you the compassion that will heal him.