You gravitate most to the limiting self talk character called the Comparison King. When healed, your new name is the True Friend.
The Comparison King is called a Queen because she is always living in hierarchies. She ranks people by gender, race, wealth, beauty, intelligence, and a plethora of other categories. She superhumanizes some people by thinking they are more perfect than she is, and dehumanizes other people by thinking they are not as good as she is. She lives on a ladder. No one can stand on the same rung as her, so she often feels very alone. She compares her insides to other people's outsides, a habit that is neither helpful nor accurate.
Examples of Negative Self Talk the Comparison King Narrates:
- She is so much prettier than I am.
- I am so jealous of their life. Why can't I be them?
- Why is he mourning over his dog dying? I have been through so much worse.
- I am such a better mom.
- No one understands me.
- I wish I could be happy for him, but instead I am sad for me.
- I have to compete in order to feel valuable.
- I have to keep my social media presence looking great so people will look up to me and accept me.
Foundational Fear: That other people are better than her.
Redeemed Gift: Our greatest weakness can become our greatest strength when it is healed. When you overcome your comparing narrative, the gift you will bring to the world is seeing the shared humanity of all people — that we are all on the same level so we are never alone.
The Path Toward Hope: We can become a compassionate observer of our inner landscape and notice when these thoughts arise. We can ask the Comparison King why she is showing up at certain times and bring healing to her.
To get over your addiction to LST (Limiting Self Talk), make your thoughts NEW.
Notice and Name when you have a competitive or comparing thought.
Envision what you would feel like and how your life would change if you replaced that thought. What would it feel like to stop comparing yourself to others? How would your life change if you put others and their experiences on the same level as your own?
Whirl that negative thought around 180°, generating a positive thought to replace the limiting thought.
180° Thought: I am not alone in this. This is a human experience. I don't need to compete in order to have value. I intrinsically have value without any competition.
Inner Healing Assignment: Make a list of all the people you dehumanize and all the people you superhumanize. What root story has caused you to do this? Take note when you compete or compare during your day. What can you do instead of comparing that expresses shared humanity?